Several years ago, I decided not to celebrate personal holidays and it made my life much happier. Now before you think I am crazy and extreme let me explain. Personal holidays I am referring to are Mother’s Day and my birthday. I don’t boycott or ban them but I also don’t make a big deal or expect a big deal to be made. These days can be filled with so much expectation, it’s my day, right? I should get what I want and be showered with gifts, right? That is not reality and just leads to disappointment.
I am very blessed that my mom is alive and lives near me and my mother-in-law is alive and lives near me. We even have a great-grandmother living nearby and that means Mother’s Day is not my day, it’s our day. My husband and I want to celebrate our moms, we love them. My husband also wants to celebrate me. Finding the time to celebrate 3 different people in one day, each their own way? You can’t, it just doesn’t work. And honestly it leads to a lot of stress. My husband feels stressed for not giving me an epic day, my kids feel stressed as we run from place to place and our moms feel slighted when we can only give them a short visit. As my kids get older add into that day sports games too, madness! So, I opt out. I give my husband and kids the ok to not make a big deal.
Mother’s Day is a day for my kids to appreciate me and for them that means a hug and a card and that’s enough. I know they love me, I know they appreciate me and one day doesn’t make or break that relationship. When I am having a rough mom day I don’t look back on an epic Mother’s Day and that makes it better. I think of a tender moment we shared, one that just happened. We still try on another less busy day to do something as a family, sometimes that is the Saturday before but more often it is once summer hits.
I share this because it breaks my heart to see moms hurting on Mother’s Day because they don’t feel they were celebrated enough. Take a moment and remember what Mother’s Day is really about, it’s not the things and the pampering it’s the love that is there day in and day out.
My birthday is the same way. Some years my husband plans a fabulous day all about me and other days he says Happy Birthday as we pass each other running the kids here and there. This is my crazy life and I love it. Having unreasonable expectations that don’t mesh with our lifestyle only leads to disappointment. Someday I will have no one to take anywhere and I will get days to do what I want all day long, but not today and that is ok!
I am working each day to appreciate today and not expect things that are unreasonable. I chose a life of 5 kids, I choose to let them do a million and one activities and in those choices, I choose to be happy!
This crazy messy kaleidoscope that is my life. It’s mine to love and enjoy and appreciate and someday it will be gone and I will be in a new stage, so I am enjoying the life I have now, not the one I wish I had or the one I saw on Facebook but this one, the one that is all my own.