Over the last 2 years life has been… well rough. My health has been altering my mood and my personality as I dealt with depression and anxiety. Fortunately for me these issues can be fixed with the proper medication and monitoring of my Graves Disease and while the pills can fix the problem rather quickly picking up the broken pieces takes longer.
While I was not myself my parenting was definitely not what it used to be. By no means was I a bad or neglectful mom but I was definitely not the mom I wanted to be nor the one I had been in the past. I found myself snapping and yelling more and NO was the most frequently heard word out my mouth. There was a time I never said NO at least not to my toddler, I instead used the tactic of redirecting or explaining why it was not a good idea instead of just shouting NO, and it worked a lot better than yelling no.
I used to be the mom to go on weekly adventures, cook with my kids and do all kinds of projects. I included them in tasks around the house even if it made the task take longer because it meant they were learning responsibility. And then I got depressed and highly anxious and projects overwhelmed me, outings terrified me and I just wanted to do things myself so it got done easily and quickly.
Well I am better now, have been for several months yet I was still stuck in my parenting funk. Then I decided to change, I made a conscious decision to take my life back and make it what I want. While I wish change was as easy as a decision it was not, but it was a start. Then I did some concrete things. I made a schedule a very detailed type-A schedule. I planned which day of the week would be cook with the kids day, which day is art day, which day is outing day, ect. I wrote it down, I planned it out and I followed the plan. I even went so far as to schedule my day by the hour. All of this scheduling may feel o
ver the top but I am prone to anxiety and depression now thanks to my Graves Disease and when those feeling creep in I can look at my schedule and see that I have a time for everything so there is no reason to get overwhelmed because it will all get done.
And you know what… Now I’m A Better Mom!
My joy is back, my kids are happier and life is good all because I decided to change and then I did something concrete to make that change stick.