There are so many things in life I would love to do over sometimes it’s a little thing like change the tone of voice I used and other times it’s a big thing. Of all the regrets in my life there is definitely one that I wish I could do over and that would be the decision to get help about my depression sooner.
After my third daughter was born I was very depressed, so depressed that I was not a good mom. I could not handle my day to day life and my poor kids watched a lot of TV, I just could not muster the energy or motivation to play with them or organize activities for them. My anxiety level was through the roof, I literally shook with anxiety it was awful. I remember the day when it finally dawned on me that I was depressed, really, really depressed. I realized that my kids, the loves of my life, no longer made me happy. I did not love being with them, I didn’t dislike being with them I just had no emotion about it what so ever. If they were with me or away from me it was all the same. That is so not me, I hate being away from my kids.
When I finally did get help I thought I had post-partum depression, and while I probably did it was much more than that I had Graves Disease. If I could do it all over again I would have asked for help sooner, now I am much quicker at recognizing when I slip into depression and calling my doctor to get my levels checked to correct my thyroid and get me out of my depressed state. I also would have taken my diagnosis of Graves Disease more seriously which would have resulted in quicker action and less progression of symptoms. All in all everything worked out but I still have such guilt over those first 3 months of Colette’s life. I really can not remember very much from that time, all I can say is I am so glad I already had many great parenting habits in place like babywearing to help strengthen our bond even when I was emotionally detached.
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I was compensated for this post as a member of Clever Girls Collective. All the opinions expressed here are my own.
When I made the decision to completely remove my thryoid via total thyroidectomy I was really worried about the scar. I jokingly told people I would say the scar was from a knife fight, but really my vain side was terrified of having an ugly red line across my throat. I even Googled total thyroidectomy scar and that was no help as the pictures others posted were not reassuring. I scheduled family photos thinking it would be my last without an ugly scar and then prepared for a life of covering my neck.
Well I am happy to report almost 2 years later I do not have a big ugly red scar, I have a very thin hard to see line that blends easily and is not noticed by hardly anyone. I had an excellent surgeon who made the incision in a fold on my neck and then I was crazy about my scar. I kept it covered for the first year with absolutely no sun exposure as in turtlenecks, scarfs and hats always plus thick sunblock from a stick. I also rubbed vitamin E on daily once it was healed. So if you found this post because you Googled total thyroidectomy scar and you too are facing a total thyroidectomy because of Graves Disease I hope this makes you feel better, check out the video and know it doesn’t have to be a big ugly red scar
This past Spring when I told you about my Graves disease diagnosis the support was amazing, thank you. It seems many of you have personal experience with Graves if not yourself but someone you know. As I begin to make decisions about long term treatments I am turning to you to help with my research. So I am asking…. the person you know with Graves disease did they do radiation treatment or surgery, why and are they happy with the results? And did that person have the eye version of Graves Disease as well. Thanks so much I appreciate your insight as I try to make this decision. I know every one’s case is unique and different but I think it helps to hear from people who have been there. I have a great new doctor who specializes in Graves Disease and after talking for an hour today (yes she sat and answered all my questions for an hour) I feel very informed about the pros and cons of both treatment options, but ultimately she says it is up to me so let the research begin. On a funny note I was told today that I am an Endocrinologist’s nightmare because I am young with young kids and I want more, that’s right I want more and no disease is stopping me ( that is if God wills I have more kids). Never thought of myself in the role of a doctor’s nightmare, makes me chuckle!
Thanks to all of you for your prayers and thoughts I really appreciate it, I have the best readers and internet friends! I just wanted to give you all a little update. Over the past 2 weeks ( since I stopped nursing) I have had numerous doctors appointments and tests done and we finally have a diagnosis Graves Disease. So now that we have a definitive diagnosis we can begin treating it. I am relieved to have answers and a bit anxious about treatment, none of the options are great. Nothing absolutely horrible but it looks like medication for the rest of my life which I am not too happy about. But I am blessed it isn’t thyroid cancer, so I can’t really complain. Anyways I wanted to give you all an update and say I know I have been a bit sporadic in posting thanks for hanging in there with me. I do have more posts planned for the kitchen carnival I just got behind with all the doctors stuff. So keep your eyes open for more giveaways and money saving ideas for the kitchen and as I said before if you want to do a guest post or want advice on saving money on something I would love to help and have your help.