Today My Daughter Reminded Me To Own My Reactions

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One of the greatest and hardest things about being a parent is being taught life lessons by your children, it is incredibly humbling, often embarrassing and usually very emotional. My 5 year old handed me my most recent life lesson and while this one came in a more roundabout way it still needed to be learned by both her and me. The lesson? OWN YOUR REACTIONS!

We hear this lesson in cliche phrases all the time but do we ever really think about what it means and the long standing complications and repercussions that can occur. Well I have spent the last 24 hours unraveling the domino effect of one reaction that was a bit too extreme for the circumstances.

Yesterday another child cut in front of my daughter in line, she fell down… no big deal. It was a case of a 5 year old acting 5 and it should have been addressed as such with a mild punishment like apologize and go to the back of the line. This is the true story that I heard from my daughter late last night but was far from the story told to the other child’s parents and to me. When my daughter fell to the ground she overreacted causing the teacher to think she was really hurt. In the confusion of her tears it was believed the other child pushed her down on purpose. As I am sure you can surmise since it was perceived as intentional hurting not accidental tripping as kids shoved into line it was dealt with in a more serious manner. Thankfully after a discussion with my daughter, who had no clue how it was playing out in the adult world, it was clarified that there was no ill intention at all and she was not even hurt, tired and overreacting, but not hurt. Thankfully after a call to the other parent, who of course was very upset to think her child hurt a friend, and a discussion with the teachers involved it was all cleared up. But the thing that really broke my heart was the unintentional overreaction caused a chain reaction that did not need to be.

My daughter and I discussed making sure we are portraying our feelings accurately and how we can unintentionally hurt people by not reacting the right way. All of this got me to thinking about my reactions lately. I am very pregnant, very tired and very cranky and my family is bearing the brunt end of that and it is not fair. My bad mood has caused me to overreact more than once and that is not acceptable and that is all on me. So today, and hopefully everyday, I am going to own my reactions. No more blaming circumstances or others behavior, only I can choose how I react no one can make me do anything.

So thank you to my daughter for reminding me of a valuable life lesson, my reaction is just that MY reaction and I must always own it and be prepared to stand behind it or there may be far reaching and unforseen consequences.

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  1. I think that this is a wonderful reminder that our words can do more damage than we think. Own Your Reactions would be a great sign! This post has made me think about my own. With my Lupus I am in a lot of pain and that pain says some ugly things sometimes. Thank you so much!

  2. out of the mouths of babes,,,everyday is a learning experience,,at least the truth came out,,I think we all should take a deep breathe before we act,,not easy to do either,,ive blown my top an over reacted more times than I would care to admit

  3. What a wonderful lesson! I learned it in my process of dealing with my child hood two quotes that i love are “You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you all you can do is change how you react to it” & “It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.” -Anthony Robbins. It really puts things in perspective!

  4. So many times these days there is over reaxtion…. a simple comment is suddenly a huge thing . Or disagreeing over something becomes a wall you cant break through. Good lesson is own your reactions and also keep an open mind.

  5. Kids certainly have an uncanny way of teaching us valuable lessons…I know my nephew constantly keeps me aware of my actions and reactions.

  6. Our children truley do teach us lessons every day. My son is 15 and I am still learning from him. Its hard to keep our emotions in check when we think or child was hurt. We have to learn to step back and listen before reacting.

  7. My daughters taught me many lessons over the years… and still do actually. Now, even my grandsons are teaching me lessons! I have always had the tendency to over react to things as well.

  8. Great Story…and a reminder to be empathic and listen to the complete story. And what might be good idea to try and see all viewpoints before making a judgement call which is easier said than done.

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