Coming Up For Air

I have talked about my issues with depression and Graves Disease before and I always struggle with sharing, should I or shouldn’t I. On one hand I don’t want to be that person, you know the one who is always moaning about how hard life is. My life is not hard, it is quite amazing actually and here is why…

1. I have 4 BEAUTIFUL, SMART and KIND little girls who bless me daily.

2. I have a husband who LOVES  me NO MATTER WHAT. He loves, supports and more, I am so so so blessed by him.

There are many other reason that I have an amazing life but those 2 are the most important and they are what I cling to when I am drowning…

When my depression hits it creeps in slowly and always catches me by surprise, I have no idea how depressed I am until it is bad, on the other hand my husband sees it immediately and for that I am so grateful. Luckily for me my depression is purely medical and can be fixed with a medication adjustment. I have no thyroid so my hormones are taken through a tiny little pill called Synthroid and I am HIGHLY SENSITIVE which unfortunately means even the slightest change can throw me out of whack and I need a new prescription. Finding that new number is often hard, too hard and well it is currently still not right and hasn’t been for several weeks.

The longer I am off the worse I am and I also develop eye problems, it’s a crazy mess and I hate it. There are usually tears, yelling and lots of naps….

I think we have found my new dosage finally, I take the first round tomorrow and will know for sure then. I am really looking forward to resurfacing from my fog and getting my life back on track, the house is not pretty when I am depressed. I am still not 100% sure why I am sharing this but I guess the real reason is support for those who like me have Graves Disease or really any thyroid problem, one that cause bouts of depression.

When I was first diagnosed with Graves Disease my husband and I did lots of research, there is a high divorce rate when someone has Graves, I am not surprised at all my husband is a saint dealing with all my crazy, but he is also my rock and what keeps me on track. He is my depression warning the one who sees it at the very beginning and helps me to see it too so we can fix it quickly…. I AM SO LUCKY!

If you are suffering from depression I hope you have a great support system like I do, if not know that I am here, I might be a crazy mess myself but even at your most isolated moment you are never alone.

*UPDATE: Thanks for all of your kind words and prayers I am day 3 on what I believe is the right dosage and feeling like myself again!

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10 comments

  1. My college roommate is dealing with this right now. She’s had one rough year and is currently waiting for her levels to be just regulated enough that they can kill her thyroid. No fun.
    So sorry!

    1. Krista,
      I am so sorry to hear that hopefully she has a great support system, but regardless one of the worst parts is you feel very disconnected and isolated. I opted for a total thyroidectomy instead of killing mine but if she has questions or wants to talk she can email me!

  2. I’m sorry for your problems but I don’t know if anyone every told you that synthroid isn’t easy for most people to take. I take armour thyroid which is a natural thyroid which has both T3 and T4 which we need. Synthyroid only has T3. T4 is also needed unless they are giving you the T4 in a another pill which is what I had for awhile. Synthyroid caused me to lose my hair. Talk about depression. It’s not easy to talk your doctor into giving it you because they are trained to believe that the synthetic is better than the natural. But you wouldn’t believe the difference. There is a coalition for natural thyroid on face book that can answer all your questions but the side effects of synthyroid can really be a challenge. You might want to look into it. Not having a thyroid gland also means you probably have no parathyroid glands which is a challenge in itself. Making sure you get enough minerals by taking supplements and making sure you are taking the right supplements to meet those needs is a real challenge. Praying that you can work it all out. I’ve been dealing with this for the last seven years. Hang in there.

  3. Thanks for the info Susan I will look into it for sure, I only take Synthroid but I do have all of my parathyroids thankfully. I am sorry you have to deal with this too but glad you found something that works for you.

  4. Thanks for sharing! I go through some depression issues myself, and it’s hard, but having a great support system is KEY! Hope you get that “magical number” soon! HUGS!

  5. I don’t know what to say as I have not walked in your shoes but want to let you know, I hope things continue to improve for you and you get the magic number. And let you know we are here for you, anytime. Hugs to you.

  6. Hello! I found your blog on accident while searching and looking at Mamas and Papas strollers. I really appreciate you sharing your story. I’m a first time mom and struggling with postpartum depression and actually am separated from my fiance at the moment. He didnt understand my depression, how severe it was, or how to support me. Unfortunately, the rock I thought I had was not there. I do have family and friends who are fantastic, and my fiance is trying to educate himself to be a better support system. I just appreciate you sharing because you can sometimes feel so alone during these times. People are just so uneducated about depression.

  7. I do appreciate your sharing what it is really like for you. It is a good thing b/c it helps raise people’s consciousness about conditions, and what it is really like on a daily basis to be in that situation. I do realize yo you have your blessings, too, altho you didn’t humbly mention you are also very pretty!!! I’ve been going thru a long and dark (to me) trial, and the world expects you to keep a happy face, it is good to be able to explain yourself to those who are willing to learn and understand, and therefore, grow in being more compassionate for our fellow men & women & children. .Thank you for sharing!

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